I can’t believe it – in a week I’ll be able to hold you in my arms. Although I know for you this is going to be quite scary with many uncertainties (actually, that’s true for both of us).
It has been close to a year ago that we started this journey not knowing who our daughter was going to be. Now, as I take time to “be still” I stand in awe of what God has done already – not what we’ve done but what God has done through us.
God nudged us; we prayed; tried to listen; unsure; scared; questioned – is this God’s plan for us? We continue to pray; we stepped out in faith not knowing what God was going to do for us as we put our trust in Him.
We announced our desire to adopt to many of our friends and family in our Christmas letter last year (2009). Some were surprised while other were not. Many question of when? From where? A boy? A girl? A baby? We, too, had a lot of questions and decisions to make.
We knew we wanted a little girl. I was also ok with skipping the baby stage and that way it wouldn’t be so hard for you to keep up with your brothers! J
We have been blessed through many friends who have adopted. We leaned on them for wisdom and direction. Nikki, our social worker from Holt International, educated and informed us about how this whole adoption process worked. Kianna, you have your dad to thank for all the many hours he put into filling out all the paper work. Through each stage and set of papers sent off, there was excitement and anticipation as we knew we were one step closer to knowing our little girl.
July 6 is when our paperwork was done and the real waiting began. Now we really had to rely on God to help us wait. We had to wait for our adoption agency to find a little girl to match our family, Nikki would be calling us once this was accomplished. A friend told me “God already has your daughter picked out for you. She’s out there and in God’s time she will come home.” We clung to those words and let God work out His plan.
August 20 was a day we will never forget. We had been boating at Okoboji and received a call from Nikki. She said she there is a little girl in Ethiopia
Excitement grew as we shared our news of you with our friends and family. Now how long before we get so see you? . . . the waiting continues.
Kianna, I want to tell you about someone who has prayed for you and our family during this process – my Mom (your Gramma). Your Gramma was so grateful to have “met you.” She didn’t see you in person, of course, but she saw your picture. I told Mom everything I knew about you. I must have told her about five times and she was always eager to listen. She loved to talk about you – her newest Grand Daughter!
September 11 we had to drive back home (Canada
I spent a lot of time sitting with Gramma in the hospital. She wished so much to be able to hold you but we both knew that God had a different plan. Mom did share with me to be patient with you; to simply love you; and to pass on our family legacy to you.
On September 17 Gramma was set free. She went to Heaven to be with her Lord! Selfishly, I wished you could have met my Mom and that she could be your Gramma but I know, for now, though we have one thing in common, we both have lost our moms and our hearts are hurting. Together I pray we can grieve, heal and experience God’s goodness in all situations.
In many situations this past year, I haven’t been able to be in control – not knowing what was going to happen or fix “things” but the words from Ephesians 3:20 – 21 help me let go of all that.
“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.”
Lord willing, I pray to see you soon!
Love,
Mommy
