A glimpse of our little girl

We're on our way....deep breath.  My stomach is in knots, excitment and nerves combined.  A friend reminded me in a card today, "Everything we asked for and more....", yes...I'm trying to hold back the tears as I realize what moment we are in...Look what God has given us, how far He's taken us and what an incrediable journey we are privileged to continue on.....I could continue to ramble on but we must leave.  Only to return (Lord willing) with one of God's children...Gidenesh, Kianna Kooi! 

Changes Ahead!

Bryan's thoughts: Well, in a few short weeks our predictable, comfortable life will be changed. We will bring a new person into our home; into our lives; things will change, indeed. How will she get along with the boys? How will she adapt to our weather, our food, our lives? Will she enjoy camping and boating? I wonder if she will like riding on the golf cart? She has been used to sleeping in a small room with many other children - how will she adapt to sleeping in her own quiet room - will it be too much space for her? Visiting the Doctor for the first time - all the immunizations she will need. . . how will she do with the shots and pokes and prods? How will she sleep at night - will she sleep during the day and lie awake at night (like we do when we travel to Ethiopia!)?

Many questions but only God knows. Kianna is joining our family for a reason. Maybe we will find new activities to enjoy. We will experience new cultures and be more aware of our world. We will have a new compassion for poverty in our world. Maybe we will think differently; be more thankful for what God has provided to us; hug our kids more; be more patient; more understanding of differences.

All these changes. Good changes. We don't know what lies ahead but we do know that this little girl has and will continue to have an impact on our lives.

Now we leave our boys in the hands of my Mom and Dad. Thankful that we have family to help us out. We will miss our boys dearly and look forward to introducing Kianna to our family and friends!

Leaving soon

I (Natasha) have been experiencing a lot of different emotions over the past 6 months.  In the devotional I recently read, it talked about our emotions being the dashboard into our lives - alerting us to a greater understanding of problems, brokenness and the way we process life.

As I continued to read, I learned that just like a dashboard, emotions don’t make up our whole heart. In the bible, the heart is referred to as 3 things: mind, will and emotions.  That was just a small segment of it…but I guess I’m realizing that God really wants to work through “it” (our journey with Kianna) with us.  Jesus is after our hearts.

We leave in just 2 days….wow.  I need to wrap up this blog deal and finish my packing.  Thank you to each of you who have been praying us through this process and encouraging us along the way. We ask that you pray for the boys while we’re gone, even though we know they will get lots of lovin’ from Grandma and Grandpa. We also ask for prayers on March 1 (Embassy appointment), our flights and that the bonds between Kianna and us may begin to connect and grow. 

Still a little more practice in Waiting

Our papers have passed Embassy and now our agency has requested our embassy appointment for the week of Feb 21 which would mean we would have to fly out Feb 16…in 6 days.

We are ecstatic to be in this situation and thankful that the waiting to be done.  But 6 days…we had some things to decide . . kids activities, childcare, the expense of short-notice tickets and to pack in 6 days. Our agency told us we also could request an embassy appointment for the following week…..

Although we both wanted to go next week to bring Kianna home, we chose to go with requesting a later embassy appointment. We went ahead and put in our request to our agency. They told us that they would receive confirmation for our request probably by Friday but for sure by Monday.

We wanted to buy our airline tickets since timeframe was a little further out, making the tickets a little more reasonable in price. But we needed to just hold them since we needed to wait for confirmation.  Our agency informed us that they didn’t see a problem in us getting the later embassy appointment but with all the changes going on we were not at peace. 

Friday came and no confirmation. We eagerly awaited Monday morning. By midmorning we hadn’t heard anything yet, so we call to find out that their liaison person in Ethiopia was not working and for whatever other reason had not received confirmation…..we wait some more.(and cancel our airline tickets).

Tuesday morning comes…thinking today is the day. We tried to be patient but by 10:30 I was e-mailing our agency….to find out that the US Embassy is closed today – yes closed due to an Ethiopian holiday. So no confirmation was heard still. 

Finally! Wednesday morning we received confirmation from Holt!….yes - in 6 days we leave to bring our little girl to her new home!

Coming to Grips

Some days are better than others, but we know that in the end Kianna will be home with us, it just may be a little later than we planned.

In the meantime we are getting a little anxious about my passport, as it expires September 13 (valid for travel until March 13).  Earlier we didn’t think this would be a concern.  Now we have no time frame to follow.  In order to renew my passport I need to send my passport to Quebec, which means no travel for at least 2 weeks and up to 3 weeks.  One last call to Holt to check if our papers have passed embassy before we send off my passport.  “No, your papers have not passed yet, go ahead and renew your passport.”  We do so knowing it’s a gamble either way. The next day we receive an e-mail…our papers have passed!!  Now what?  We were overjoyed simply for the fact that we passed, but now what to do?  We could leave for Ethiopia in less than a week to bring Kianna home.  We just need to get my passport back. This wasn’t so easy. Bryan spent a couple of hours on the phone and by the next day we received word that my passport would be in my hands within the next 24 hours…..praise God!

We had some big decisions to make concerning our possible embassy appointment that could either be in a week or possibly 2 weeks. 

Exciting Surprise

I was home by myself eating my lunch when the phone rings and the caller ID displays “Holt International” - my stomach drops…why were they calling?  Is Kianna okay?  I did not expect to receive the news I was about to hear. “Your papers/case has been submitted to Embassy.” Wow!  I was shocked but able to ask a few questions. But again, due to the many changes that are happening my questions were not able to be answered. Yes - this is exciting that our papers are now being worked on, but it could take up to a month before they pass…. It was good to receive this news…put some excitement back into the waiting. 

My dad sent me a devotional that him and mom used to do together and this has been a great comfort to me over the last few weeks. It’s a small way in which I feel a little like mom’s encouraging me on in this journey. One devotional said “God is always with me, I will not be afraid.”  We fear the future, something’s up ahead and I don’t want it. Fear is the contradiction of faith. Faith says, “Whatever it is, it’ll be okay because of God.”  God is with us/me individually…personally as one of His children. This isn’t new information for me but it’s actually starting to make sense to me….it’s not only in my mind but I’m living it in my heart.

Uncertainty

We just received a notice from our agency that the US embassy has received new laws/rules that they need to follow in order to follow US adoption regulations. As a result, each case is going to be scrutinized more thoroughly which will take an unknown amount of time. Therefore, our agency is giving no timeframe as to when embassy appointments and travel dates will be.

The two families that were ready to leave for Ethiopia tomorrow have been told to wait as each of their cases need to be “looked over” more thoroughly. Imagine the roller coaster of emotions they must be experiencing. Again, wanting to have that reassurance that God is taking care of this all.

Time Draws Closer

Our agency informs us that Embassy appointments are held twice a month, typically 2^nd and 4^th Tuesday of the month. We try to figure out when our appointment will be.. . what families are ahead and need to go. Although we are also told they don’t necessarily go in order. “Let Go and Let God” is something we are often telling ourselves but difficult to allow our hearts to do????

Excitement

Two of the families we had travelled with during our first trip have received their Embassy appointment. We didn’t expect to get an appointment yet so we were very excited for the families that did receive their embassy appointment. I (we) was beginning to actually have a peace that God knows when we will be “ready” to bring Kianna home.

Time of Reflection

Some time has passed by…in a way it’s hard to believe that it’s already been 5 weeks since we were in Ethiopia.  On the other hand, time has also gone by so slowly as we each long to see, hold and simply “love on” Kianna.

We eagerly contacted our adoption agency seeking information on how long it would be before our second trip, to start planning and anticipate having Kianna home. Our agency was unable to give us any definite timeframe but though maybe early March.  The uncertainty makes it difficult at times.  If only we knew for sure then we would…what…feel more in control?  God has been showing up in ways I didn’t expect or even want to at times.  But THROUGH the unknowns and THE WAITING God continues to PREPARE US EACH IN OUR OWN WAY.

* learning to share a room

* talking about having a little sister around and realizing how much we will be able to share and teach Kianna (especially about hockey)

* understanding how and what culture is like in America and Ethiopia

* finding Ethiopia on a map

* experiencing God’s financial provisions

* realizing and allowing my heart to grieve and heal….

Moving

We received a notice from Holt that Care Center #2 was being closed.  Their lease on the building was up and they were given an offer to join another child care center. Financially this was a better option. I am trying to understand the reasons, but my heart goes out to my girl. She just had to say good-bye to her mom 6 months ago, then moved from a care center in Durame to Addis 3 months later. She is just starting to become familiar with her surroundings and develop bonds with her nannies and yet now another move!  Is she scared?  What’s going on in her little mind?  Later I did find out that some of Kianna’s nannies made the move with her to the new Niana care center.  We pray this gives her some comfort as Kianna once again tries to adjust to the changes in her world.